she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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