Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
