if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize