So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
