we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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