So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
