So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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