and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
