But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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