Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
