forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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