What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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