party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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