I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
is wine microwaveable?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
