this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
