i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Randomize
