Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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