I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
