Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
