Its about making memories worth repressing
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Send help, water and tortillas.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize