I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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