The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
