Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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