i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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