I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
