question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
