Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
