I got chris browned last night
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
