Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
