And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
