What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
he's gonorrhea incarnate
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
