Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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