Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize