Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize