you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i drank out of a bidet.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
