Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
