marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
