You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
