We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
