Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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