We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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