Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize