She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
