He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize
