your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
