I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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