Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
wow bdsm is so cute
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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