its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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