Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
