Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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