You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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