nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize