My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
