I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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