i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I wish you could order shots online.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
