your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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