in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
