And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
