I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
