I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
